meganwong.livejournal.com

sometimes i just wish that everything would go away.
i cant stand another moment just fretting about it.
i just want to give up. 
just want to stop and not do anything.
why? why does it keep coming to me? 
i just wish that it would go awayyyy....

sigh!!!

it's been a long week since the 2nd of May.
First of all, a birthday shoutout to


~TAN WEI LIANG~ (01/05)


~VINCENT LIM~ (04/05)


~ELICIA WONG PHAIK CHING~ (08/05)
   May all your wishes and dreams come true!
       and you had a blast on your birthday...





30th April was Wei Liang's bday celebration in BarCelona (Sunway) where he had his beloved friends from high school and ICPU as well as Monash that night to have his birthday countdown. It's been a long time since I went to a club but this time i just stood there and not do anything. Guess I have really changed. Clubs don't mean anything to me now as well as getting drunk. I can't say the say for the rest of the people who were dying to get into BarCelona though. The crowd and never ending Q waiting to get into the club lasted up till 1am in the morning, and yet i still see people lining up just to get in. Weird. Headed to FriendSter cafe to have a drink with Ryan sitting there playing UnoStacko. Ahh.. how I am beginning to like that place. I shall bring you there one day.





On the 1st of May, I got up early and went to Sunway Lagoon with my LP (Titans8: Foo, CHeanu, Cho, Tareeq, Shiau Fen, Teoh, Kiew) for their small group meeting and as a break during the public holiday. The weather was not very flattering as it was hot and HOT~! but thank the Lord, because if it would have rainned, our plans would be runinned. Again, I can't remember the last time I went to Sunway Lagoon but just being there brought back childhood memories. Memories of how we as cousins and aunties as a group would visit there once a year, but alas it is all now just memories that I can cherish. After Lagoon, Foo and I went back to my place to shower and headed to Kelly Rally, one of AsiaWorks events in PJ Hilton. Kelly is such an inspriring woman and I had a blast during dinner with my LP.

The next day, class resumed as usual but I got really ill. I had the fever, the headache, the vomits and the body ache. Things just didn't seem right and after a afternoon nap. I was down with high fever. This lastest for 5 days. Talk about a very ill Megan.



I got better on the night of 3rd May, so I decided to go and join the surprise party for Elicia in TreeHouse, Damansara Uptown. Though I was there a minute late, but overall she was a happy girl so nothing mattered as long as she had a good time of her life. Having to see most of my ICPU mates all over again especially Phoebe was the highlight of my night. Headed to Hartamas after the party for a drink and to wait for Shaun, Chui Yi, Yee KEong and Yu Tiong and then headed home.

Next day, I got ill again up till Wednesday. Life filled with assignments. CRAP!

Today, I just somehow feel lost, suffocated, lonely, frustrated, sad, angry, numb, as if im alone in a dark space where I cant go anywhere or breath. WHY??? would someone just give me an answer to WHY am I feeling this way?? sigh!!

yesterday, a hectic but hilarious day.
day started with a normal day in Uni, had accounting lecture and management tutorial.

Management tutorial:
Elicia: "wei, ur stomach grumbling ar?"
Megan: "No arh, why??"
*stomach grumbles
Megan: "Now grumbling. IM HUNGRY!!"

was really hungry during management tutorial.
Had tummy all bloated and gumbling.
headed straight to Aunty June's next to have Tom YuM fried rice.
Mmmmmmmmm..yummy!
met up with shaun and chui yi over there.
had a good fulfilling lunch.
oo, saw ryan, jyusiang, wei liang,vincent, terrance, shafiq, wee seng and the whole noisy bunch.

Megan: "AUNTY!!! RYAN bully me"
(fav sentence in aunty june's place)

planned to devoted my whole day to elicia, ryan, chui yi and shaun. 
It's been a long long time.
went to chui yi's place after aunty june's.
had small group meeting so left them and went to KLCC.
went back to Kelana Jaya to get my car then headed to HArtamas.
spend time with my honeys. =).
a good night. I miss spending time with these ppl.

that was a good day. a day that was never there a long time.
guess I really did miss spending time with them.
gonna do more in future. =).

do u doubt what has happened?
why is that? do u not trust me and think i want it to happen?
sigh.


2 lines,an orange,a vee,and 4 lines.
megan

why did the msg have to come?
why was a perfect day ruined just that way?
who was it and what was their intention in sending me that message?

When a prefect, smooth sailing day goes well, and when you are up there being content with the day,
a thing/a moment with undesirable feelings jsut brings you down. I guess that is just how life is. A roller coaster ride.
Having a wavelength like momentum. One moment a person is up, the very next moment they could be as low as ever.
The problem does not lie in how low a person feels, it lies in how fast a person is able to bring themselves back up to the highest peak of the roller coaster ride.

How can i shift from being super low now to being at the top??
How can i be like a pendulum swing??

Feelings in my heart are all jumbled up.
I fear, I tear, I doubt, I hate, I love, I worry.
When will I conquer? When will I move?
When will I be confident? As what my contract says.

Looking at your blog post, made me laugh and smile.
You really are the one who can never fail to make me laugh.
Remembering about those times we had together.
Never fails to brighten up my day.
Thank you teddy bear, you brighten up my day.


The rose speaks of love silently.
In two language known only to the heart.
-unknown-

Megan

a cousin night out last night with nicholas and li lian.
beautiful moment and a totally random outing.
it's been awhile since we hanged out together.
what happened? studies, work and other obligation came in between.
had dinner and then to friendster cafe to have a drink while waiting for the movie time.
sat there just playing uno stacko.
childhood times came back.
fun times, silly games, just pure innocent laughter.
cousins who are just about my age. 5 months older, 11 months older.
a bond that will only get closer now and never more distant.

nicky to uk soon. me to aussie soon. lilian all around the world.
what happened to su ann and wendy? we miss them.
darren??
next plan is to have a cousin reunion before everyone of us leaves.
wait till wendy comes back from aussie.
having cousins that are just about my age is such a blissful blessing.
the bond grows tighter as time goes by.
having cousins who are just there to annoy you makes things evenmore interesting and lively.
thru thick and thin we will be together.
thru far and near we will be cousins forever.
thru laughter and tears, we will be there for one another.

definately maybe was a good movie. humourous yet romantic.
wondered why did u want me to watch it with u? didnt get a chance but i watched it anyways.
a story told in a different approach and perspective.
after all the series of unsuccessful love, the one for him is still april and not the college girl.
am wondering now if there is a hidden message?
next up will be 27 dresses. lilian and nicky?? anyone? ryan??

"i'm missing you so much
come back please??"

" i'll come back in 16 pieces and u can have my nose.."
" what if i wanted ur heart???"
" then u will have to find it because it is no longer with me.."
" i will.."

what if u really did find my heart?
what would really happen?
how am i ready? how are u ready?
a heart that is already put aside after going through scratches and wounds.
a heart that is lost and closed.
a heart that does not acknowledge the pain of love any longer.

How do i open? How do i find it?
How are u going to find it? How are u going to care for it?
Simple things and the littlest things are the things I want but yet it is so hard to fulfill.

the feeling of touched, the feeling of scared, the feeling of surprised and the feeling of happy.
Wonders.

a week ago, had charity car wash to raise funds for "a day at Zoo Negara" with the orphans from Kuantan and Kuala Lumpur.
carwash was a brilliant and fun day. Had the most bath taken in a day. could enter into world's guiness record.
having said that, spent first weekend of sem break goin to kuantan to Bakley and June's house to bring the kids over from Kuantan to Zoo Negara.
Kuantan was really a shocking experience. The beach turned out to be so beautiful with beautiful white sand and blue sea.
A promise that was made long ago came up. Going to fulfill every single promise to leave things clear and better off.

Spending time with the kids was an memorable experience. Touching another kid's heart was a big thing. Seeing them go was a feeling that was both proud, content but yet very upsetting. Wonder how are they now? I miss them already.

Congratulations LP113. =) (Arini, Salah and the rest).
My dear buddy, Foo u are the world's greatest driver and leader.

oh. and u came back. it was good seeing u again.
letting it go was hard but learning how to move on was harder.
but then again, having a neutral feeling is what is most appropriate now.

Lp journey continues on.
The best days of my life and it will be from now on.
Never waste a single minute paying attention to oneself, instead reach out to others.
I love my LP114.
U guys are my heart, my soul and my support.

Till then.
Loves,
MeganW

today started of quite well.
went for business stats lecture while paper chatting with evvon.
had a little drama between evvon and banana girl.
it got funny. =)
started to take pictures during lecture.
got bored. whole icpu students row is ours.
noisy perky bunch.

econs tutorial.
wnt quite well. finished early.
proceeded to get student id done.
hassle hassle.
book purchasing hassle.
from monash to sunway to university bookstore.
nada for econs textbook.

went back to D floor.
had a talk with my chui yi.
i miss her alott!

evvon a great person who stands for herself! =)
semangat semangat!!
chui yi a girl who has alot to give!

another day to go through.

when she walks away from you
mad
[follow her]

when she stares at your mouth
[smile...then kiss her]

when she pushes you or hit's you
[hug her tight]

when she start cursing at you
[say i love you]

when she's quiet
[hold her hand and ask what's wrong]

when she ignores you
[act cute so she'll notice you]

when she pulls away
[pull her back]

when you see her at her worst
[tell her you love her and she still
looks amazing]

when you see her start crying
[hold her...ask her what's wrong]

when you see her walking
[approach her...give a kiss on the
cheek]

when she's scared
[assure her you're not goin to leave
her]

when she lays her head on your shoulder
[tilt your head too...and hold her
hand]

when she steals your favorite hat
[let her keep it]

when she teases you
[teases her back and make her laugh]

when she doesnt answer for a long time
[reassure her that everthing is okay]

when she looks at you with doubt
[back yourself up]

when she says that she likes you
[she really does more than you could
understand]

when she grabs at your hands
[hold hers and play with her fingers]

when she bumps into you
[bump into her back and make her laugh]

when she tells you a secret
[keep it safe and untold]

when she looks at you in your eyes
[dont look away until she does]

when she misses you
[she's hurting inside]

when you break her heart
[the pain never really goes away]

when she say its over
[she still want you to be hers]

when she repost this bulletin
[she want you to read and remember it]

-stay on the phone with her ever if
shes not saying anything.

-because 10 years later she'll remember
you:

-call her before you sleep and after
you wake up

-treat her like she's all that matters
to you

-tease her and let her tease you back

-stay up all night with her when she's
sick

-watch her favorite movie with her or
her favorite show even if you think its
stupid

-give her the world

-let her wear your clothes

-when she's bored and sad,hang out with
her

-let her know she's important

-kiss her in the pouring rain

-when she runs up at you crying,the
first thing you say is:
"who's ass am i kicking babe?"